


Abashedly Forgiving

by MorpheusEnMemori (Its_Darling)



Series: Transition [3]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Eventual Smut, M/M, Misgendering, Trans Male Character, Trans!Spy, yeah this will be one of those fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:57:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11204700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_Darling/pseuds/MorpheusEnMemori
Summary: It's weeks after the refrigerator incident and the BLU Spy feels indebted to the RED Sniper.But how is he going to convince his rival to let him pay back the favor...





	1. The problem

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am, trying to finish other fanfics (and trying to characterize both the non-binary pyros).  
> And I get this idea.  
> Maybe it's to help get comfortable with writing sex scenes. But I still want to set this up, for reasons.  
> also this is of the lines of "not connected with For the Want of a Nail" unless you REALLY want it to be. it's just part of the series because it's part of the whole "Trans male BLU Spy"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, trying to finish other fanfics (and trying to characterize both the non-binary pyros).  
> And I get this idea.  
> Maybe it's to help get comfortable with writing sex scenes. But I still want to set this up, for reasons.  
> also this is of the lines of "not connected with For the Want of a Nail" unless you REALLY want it to be. it's just part of the series because it's part of the whole "Trans male BLU Spy"

Stabbing people had a certain kind of charm to it.  
After all the hell the BLU Spy has been through, with how many times a well-placed knife saved his skin? It often saved many people, now that he had the chance to think on it.  
He sat down on a crate, staring at the dying RED Medic, flipping around his butterfly knife to pass the time. Spy had enough sense to know how the tides of battle were going, he should be fine out in the open like this.  
Of course, the RED Medic was taunting him. He’s attempted to for the past two weeks. This is the first time Spy had the chance to have a conversation with him.

“ _Die Frau_ …” he says.

“Monsieur, you gotten enough blood on my suit.” Spy says.

Medic mentioned something about how Spy was playing too many games. Before Spy could hear the offensive part, he throws his knife into the Medic’s jugular, basking in how the man _chokes_.

"Does it _hurt_ when I do that?” Spy mocks.

He stands, taking a few steps towards his victim, pressing his foot on a wound in the Medic’s leg. The sound he hears…

“It does, **_doesn't it_**?!" Spy says.

Spy does not submit himself to sadism often. It’s unbecoming, unprofessional, and leads to a vast assortment of problems if he cannot contain it. Most sadistic sorts… can never contain the sadism. But, he lets himself have this one bit of pleasure.

“If you think I am done, after what you did for weeks, keeping me in that refrigerator…” Spy taunts.

As well as the few things the RED Medic found out about him. Secrets that BLU would only give to his most trusted circle.  
And the Medic was trying to weaponized that against him.

“Say a word. I dare you.” Spy says, “You think that day you caught me was the only time I was there? Oh no, Doctor… I know things that would _ruin_ you. Have your newfound secret, I don’t care anymore. Keep thinking you can use it against me!”

The Medic struggles, gurgling more blood as he’s holding onto his neck. He’s certain he made his point. That did not change this ‘temporary’ sadistic streak would continue for a while longer. Maybe a week, or three, but Spy intended to get back at the Medic for what he did.  
A new mark around his neck, making so many things about his past self all the more _ironic_ but Spy could find no humor in it. The fact that Spy retches at the very smell of mayonnaise, a pity given Spy enjoyed his Heavy’s sandwiches. And he cannot find himself able to stab the RED Sniper.

The last one is only mildly inconvenient. The RED Sniper saved the BLU Spy from the countless weeks of torment of being a disembodied head in the RED base’s infirmary fridge. It only means that eventually, people will start asking why Spy has left the RED Sniper alone.

He hears the Medic gurgle his last breath, moving to pull out the knife.

And awakens in respawn.

What.

Spy considers the options. No pain in the back, wasn’t his counterpart. Medic was dead, but he would have sawed off Spy’s head. Again. Wasn’t a Pyro death…

His head had a slight ache. Ah. Sniper.

Spy takes out a cigarette, pondering all his options. This would normally put him off, Spy doesn’t get this sloppy. Not intentionally. But, when he runs back on the field, he knows he has to pester his Sniper first.  
Spy has so many ideas, but all require some… background knowledge.

He stumbles into Lawrence’s nest, watching him fight his counterpart René. Lawrence is losing. Well, was. Until Spy put a bullet in his counterpart’s head.  
Lawrence grumbles about something, probably about getting blood all over himself as he shoves the dead Spy from him.

“As much as this helped, you only come here to pester me. But, I’ll pretend we’re mates since you usually watch me die.” Lawrence says.

Some of those deaths were accidents, Lawrence knew it, but… old habits die hard and Spy was trying to not be ‘a massive mad cunt’ in Lawrence’s words.

“Oui, perhaps you could… enlighten me?” Spy asks.

Lawrence takes his rifle, going back to keeping an eye on the battle. It’s far too even for the Spy’s taste, even with him pestering the RED Medic and by extension the RED Heavy. But, some days simply have no true victor.

“Do you know random things about Mundy?” Spy asks.

“Depends on what you mean by that mate.” Lawrence says.

“Oh I don’t know, what could I want from the man who saved me from the depths of the refrigerator?” Spy says.

Lawrence did not miss the sarcastic tone, but he did miss his shot. He tosses his hat, turning to Spy. They both shift away from the window, knowing the RED Sniper to take opportunities that come to him.

“I thought you were kidding when you told everyone Mundy saved you.” Lawrence says.

“For what reason-.” Spy starts.

It would just end the same as it always does: in disbelief. Spy instead puts away the gun he had out, just in case his counterpart was using the Dead Ringer. Well, still wasn’t sure, but RED hasn’t offered to stab them. He lifts part of his balaclava showing the offensive mark on his neck. Lawrence shifts uncomfortably, scratching on his neck as if he feels the phantom pain.

“Alright. M’Sorry for not believing you.” Lawrence says.

“It… was a long while.” Spy says, “Engineer gave his apology earlier today, saying he checked with the Administrator on my ‘abandonment’… only to discover I was telling the truth.”

“Still, what do you want with Mundy? It ain’t as though you can become friends.” Lawrence says.

That part is true, as much as Spy detests that word. He wasn’t really thinking it would be a friendship, more like a mutual exchange. Try to set up an agreement he was sure the RED Sniper would agree with. But… things took a different turn.  
Spy had his preferences. And he couldn’t fulfill many, given the limits of his privacy, Spy was damned good at an assortment of things that people have difficulty receiving at the base. Baking, back massages, even blowjobs…  
Well, Spy hoped that if he gotten the last one, Sniper did not feel the need to reciprocate. That was going to be awkward.

“Wait…” Lawrence says.

His silence must have tipped his teammate towards what he was thinking.

“Goddammit Spook. Stop thinking with your dick.” Lawrence says.

“Tell me bushman, what would _you_ do in my situation?” Spy asks.

“I’m also not a man that would have sex with anything that moves and has no qualms sharing multiple partners.” Lawrence says, “I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your bed, but doing that with a rival… especially a rival sniper does not settle with me.”

Spy smirks. He gotten his answer. He knew that Lawrence and Mundy had a gentleman’s hunting agreement. Also knew of the Pyro tea party incident, but in less detail. He could flirt to his heart’s content without worrying he was wasting his effort.

The feeling doesn’t last, considering the knife in his back.

“I apologize, handsome rogue, but I gotten what I needed. You understand, non?” The RED Spy whispers.

God. Dammit. The RED Spy was going to make this… difficult.

Spy wakes up in respawn for the second time today, lighting up his cigarette and debating his options. Surprisingly, Lawrence does not appear. He must have handled the RED Spy this time.  
Impressive.  
The klaxon suddenly blares, a commanding woman’s voice declaring the occasional call for Ceasefire. A week’s worth. Hm.  
He can use this to his advantage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three chapters.  
> chapter two will get a bit suggestive, maybe chummy because that's how I roll.  
> chapter three is the "how about some blowjobs?" (maybe more, haven't decided yet)


	2. Ceasefire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chummy stuff.  
> And bits of incidents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen here I am so pissed that I started another work. Like. The Bakery AU at least has a "I know how to start it, but not how to finish it" for that chapter. FTWOAN and the Errors one is gonna have a similar scene (and Nail has the bonus of "wait a fucking week me"). I have another Bakery AU I'd like to start working on, but I need to finish Bakery AU 1 before I do Bakery AU shipping edition.  
> And I am so upset I cannot have more antics with BLU Spy and Pauling because I written a chapter that I cannot publish yet else I'll just spoil the plot of Nail.  
> This work is getting finished today or tomorrow.  
> Either there will be 2k worth of smut under 4~8k worth of fluff or 8k worth of smut after 4~8k worth of set up. And I haven't decided which one it is yet. You'll find out later today/tomorrow

                Lawrence tried convincing Spy to stay on base. His half attempt was noted, though Spy did admit to Lawrence that he had plans for this Ceasefire.  
                Many more people that mattered on a variety of levels (Medic, Demo, Heavy, and _Pyro_ ) apologized for their behavior towards him and tried convincing Spy to stay for a couple games of poker. Spy hates poker.  
                Then he finds out it wasn’t a respawn issue, it relates to the incident Spy dealt with. He knows because in his Smoking Room, he was discussing a couple terms with Miss Pauling.

                “Spy, I certainly understand why you’re mad…” She says.

                “But the Administrator would like me to stop targeting the RED Medic.” Spy says.

                “Well, not the exact terms she used. She said that she was going to make sure he understood what would happen if he tried pulling that stunt again…” she says.

                So the Administrator does want him to stop targeting the RED Medic.

                “No.” Spy says.

                “…. Spy. Please. She’s ready to pay you. She knows you like requesting a week away from the base, thus the Ceasefire. Hell, if there’s someone in your past that you need dead, she’ll send me to finish the job.” Miss Pauling starts, “But she needs you to increase your participation in this war, and stabbing the Medic cannot be your only task.”

                The Administrator must need the Medic’s sanity under control. She’s acting desperate. Spy was tempted to express his dissatisfaction. It’d be well within his right to: he was locked away in that refrigerator for weeks. It was a couple days from a month even! And she wants him to stop his rampage!

                Well, if that’s what she wants, Spy knows he has to make his terms steep. And he has just the idea.

                “I want the Administrator to ignore her fraternization rule.” Spy says.

                Wasn’t the terms Pauling expected. She waits, probably to see if he’s kidding. She taps her finger against one of the files she holds, in deep contemplation.

                “I don’t know if I can give you that.” She says, “That, and I’m not sure why you want it.”

                “Well, off to stab the Medic.” Spy says.

                He fully intended on finding the RED Medic in his base too, since he knows that RED was approached about his behavior. Miss Pauling grabs his arm, groaning as she’s sorting out his request.

                “Who in the world are you trying to befriend?” She asks.

                “I am going a couple steps further than that, Miss Pauling. But it requires a certain touch and time that I hope does not take far too long.” Spy says.

                For whatever reason, she keeps her firm expression, deep in contemplation. Spy knows the Administrator is a hypocrite, knows that her fraternization rule is based on her grudges against friendships, and knows she doesn’t include romance as part of fraternization (specific reason Spy has deduced: the Administrator is not stupid enough to ban sex). But, Spy knows the way to Mundy is by being friendly.

                “Let me. Talk to her. In private.” She says, “Go… go mingle for a bit. Make Scout not bother me, please.”

* * *

                It takes a full two hours, but Spy manages to distract the Scout from trying to flirt with Miss Pauling. He did so by acting drunk. Well, he is slightly inebriated, but nothing like the time where he drank an import of sake. That was fun, thrilling, and he will never do it again. Not after what he did…

                People still find flaccid dicks every so often, Spy has no idea where he’s hidden the rest of them. He could only readily recall where he placed a hundred until he gave in and accepted he was not going to remember. Strange how he managed to get a shipment of five hundred packers. It’s why he drank. So much money went towards them, and he was given _defects_ as well as an assortment that could not fit in his pants. Maybe Heavy’s. Spy never asked when Heavy mentioned he found all the large ones in his room.

                He wondered, for a moment, if the other team was still finding packers. He didn’t just hide them in his base. He knew he could reliably hide two hundred in his base, and split the rest on the battlefield and the RED base.  
                Ah, so many incidents happened for a week while people were finding them… He has no idea if Miss Pauling knows, now that he thinks of it. Probably, Spy’s aware the Administrator knows and she didn’t find as much amusement in the action as he did.

                Miss Pauling eventually sets up to leave, the Scout’s nervousness keeping him from following her out. But Spy keeps on her tail, insisting that he was leaving anyhow, much to his companion’s disappointment. He’s lucky most were playing poker, sans Lawrence and Soldier. She only speaks up when she’s sure no one can hear them.

                “The Administrator doesn’t quite understand why you’re going through so much trouble for someone on the RED team…” Pauling starts, “but, the fraternization rule didn’t exist for Spies anyway. If it did, it would make your job harder. However, she will consider that you’re probably setting something up that existed out of bounds of what she meant by Spies fraternizing, so… Just. Continue doing your job and she’ll look the other way.”

                “ _Merci, mon amie_.” Spy says.

                Once outside, they both stop and stare at her moped.  
                There’s a… A… _Raton laveur_. That thing, sitting on her seat. Grey with black. Has a kind of bandit mask. Looks rabid. What the fuck is it called in English? He knows he heard the others talk about it.

                “What is the mouse bandit?” Spy asks.

                “Raccoon Spy. It’s a raccoon.” Miss Pauling says.

                She pulls out her gun, edging carefully to the moped. The raccoon hisses at her, enough to make Spy flinch. He hopes that Miss Pauling can dispose the creature, it does look as though it’s suffering.  
                Then Soldier appears and takes hold of the raccoon like anyone would a pet.

                “Lt. Bites!” he says.

                “… Of course you would befriend nature.” Spy says.

                Miss Pauling sighs deeply, putting her gun away as she’s attempting to talk with Soldier about the raccoon. More because she does not know how there are raccoons in the area. Spy figured he’s wasting his time, Spy can get a coherent answer from the Engineer.

                He leaves, listening to Soldier and Miss Pauling argue about the raccoon until he was out of her sight. He cloaks, navigating his way to the RED base. Honestly, he was set to go into the RED Sniper’s campervan, but Spy noticed something off. Camper van door hung open. Meaning, Sniper was called away.  
                Spy always loved a challenge. RED must be meeting over a trivial matter. Well, time to sneak inside. Find out what RED was doing, it is another guilty pleasure of his… Watching behind the scenes, in plain sight but unnoticed, all while people spill their darkest secrets. Well, in this case, it would be seeing team cohesion under invisibility, but scratched the same itch.

                Spy was not expecting to see the entirety of RED _arguing_ in the communal dining hall.

                It was innocuous, at the start. Spy would call it silly, and he was almost set to laugh. He had to resist, else he would have to run through the base laughing. That would be a pitiful use of his free time, dealing with respawn during Ceasefire.  
                They found more. His gift that keeps giving, to the tune of at least twenty packers, sitting on the table.

                “Dang nabbit, I thought we were done dealing with these possessed things!” the RED Engineer says.

                Spy takes a head count, deciding to vault himself up to the beams on the ceiling, just so that he can drop his cloak. He’s set to recloak at a moment’s notice, and he’s trying to sort out who’s present, noticing that their Spy is missing. Seems that most members there were trying to sort who revisited the prank. The usual suspect (Scout) was the one who brought it to everyone’s attention that there were still flaccid dicks around the base, so the suspects became Sniper, Demo, and Soldier. Sniper had managed to fall asleep in his seat, thus ending any attempts to discuss with him.  
                It was an interesting shouting match between Demo and Soldier, who were both denying involvement, and admitting that they saved the flaccid dicks they found in their room. When prompted why…  
                Answers varied from ‘had to keep something so hilariously misshapen’ and ‘it seemed like a waste of a free resource without an obvious use.’

                Spy tries keeping his eyes off the Medic, who seemed to hit on the part of the ‘obvious use’ and claimed it was probably superficial. He asked Spy about the use of a packer, as a passing question, while he was stuck in the refrigerator.  
                Spy never answered that question.  
                He doubted the doctor actually wanted an answer.

                Then he hears a couple of files slam onto a table. Spy looks to see his RED counterpart, glaring at the medic. The files were photographs of his neck, showing the cut around it.

                “Doctor. I believe many of us asked why the BLU Spy was targeting you exclusively the past few weeks.” The RED Spy says, “And I think you knew the real answer.”

                The Medic looks at the file, as does a couple others. Someone knocks Sniper out of his chair, by mistake. He clutches the table, groaning as he’s trying to figure out why people have surrounded a table. Spy isn’t quite sure himself, and cloaks just to be safe.

                “That could have been there the entire time.” Soldier says.

                “Yes Solly, a conspicuous mark around the neck that’s scarred like a healed wound.” Their Spy says with seeping sarcasm.

                Medic kept a neutral expression, ready to deny his involvement. Then, Heavy speaks up, admits he heard a voice from the fridge during a surgery asking the doctor to kill him. No one seems sure on if they believe it, and the Medic was unwilling to clarify…

                “The BLU Spy’s head was in the fridge.” Sniper says.

                Eventually, the Medic tries passing this off on the fact it was against the enemy Spy. Why did everyone care that he did this? Spy certainly was not expecting people to defend him on the RED team. He gotten an assortment of answers.

                “Now I have to worry their medic will do the same _to me_ if I am caught in their base! Which I do sneak into on occasion as part of the job description! Think what you will about the Spy, but you should kill him, not needlessly torture! We’re in the business of killing each other, torture is unnecessary.” their Spy says.

                “Considerin’ you couldn’t properly do your job for weeks, because the snake was targeting you specifically… I’d say you made a poor decision.” The Engineer says.

                “Listen, beheading is all in good fun, I do it with me broadsword as a good taunt. But I wouldn’t want to save the head while it was still living…” Demo says.

                Part of their Spy’s argument sounded like projecting. Torture was indeed part of this war, but Spy respected the RED’s wishes to keep it within a reasonable range. It was their ‘gentleman’s agreement’ and RED was good about keeping his word.

                “Defending _die Frau_? I was not expecting this from my own team…” the Medic says, “And you Spy, I figured you would not be so squeamish about torture.”

                Spy knew the answer to this, and he was expecting his counterpart to say dismissively that the Medic wasted his resources. Instead, he watches RED move away from the Medic, and flip a nearby table. It certainly caught everyone’s attention, especially himself. RED sits in a chair, bringing out a cigarette.

                “Let it be known I am trying to warn you before you awaken something that cannot be put back to rest.” RED says, “I knew BLU before we came here for this silly war. I know what he’s capable of.”

                “And you never thought to, uh, mention it?” the Scout asks.

                RED smokes, drawing it out slowly. It irritates his nose, cheap cigarettes. Disgusting, he had hoped a man like RED had more class.

                “I know what he can do.” The RED Spy says, “And our Medic is lucky the BLU Spy decided his humanity was worth more than revenge. Because what he done for the past couple weeks leans professional, given the circumstances. I would not be so kind were this me, doctor.”

                No one seemed willing to ask for further details. Spy checks his watch, seeing the charge and knew he should leave. He risked getting caught at this rate, especially with how tense the RED Spy was getting.  
                Spy should have hidden in the van, he could have done without… all this.

* * *

                Patience was always a game for Spy. He’s mentally thanking himself for deciding to hide in Sniper’s bed. Because when Sniper returned to the van, he came in with Demo. Spy barely had the time to cloak, hoping Sniper did not notice him. Didn’t seem to, he just tossed his hat on the bed, and Demo and Sniper shared words at the small table.  
                They talked about the supernatural, a bit about alcohol, and the topic of the RED Spy came up.

                “Spy’s being less of a cunt, right?” Demo asks.

                “Considering how much of a daft one he’s been, less ain’t all that much.” Sniper says.

                “Bit surprised he thought to check on _you_ during the start of BLU’s rampage.” Demo says.

                Sniper had no response, choosing to nurse his coffee addiction. Demo takes a swig from his swill, and Spy wishes something far more interesting would happen.  
                He gets his wish with a sudden flourish of knocking. Spy’s tempted to groan, it sounds as though it’s the Scout knocking. Certainly sounds just like the way the BLU Scout knocks. But when Demo opens the door, making some off handed insult to the Scout…

                The RED Spy stands in front.

                “Ah, Tavish. Normally, I would join you for some drinking. But, I need to speak with Mundy. Privately, _s'il tu plaît_.” RED says.

                Spy raised a brow, he never heard RED speak in a personal way. He doubted either Demo or Sniper would notice such a change, but that did not matter. He’ll sort that for later. It takes some time for RED and Sniper to convince Demo it would all be fine. It’s a couple minutes more after he leaves for RED to bring up what he meant to.

                “Mundy, I know… I am still abrasive.” RED says.

                “Get to the point mate.” Sniper says.

                “I came to warn you BLU would most likely be coming for you.” RED says.

                Sniper shrugs in response, raising only to refill his empty coffee cup. As RED gotten on the defensive, wondering why Sniper appears to be non-pulsed by this information.

                “Mate.” Sniper says, “I’m the one that got BLU out of that fridge. I… had a feeling he’d come over.”

                “I doubt you know why he’s coming.” RED counters.

                “Listen mate, I heard BLU and Lawrence talk about an assortment of things I didn’t think I’d ever hear in my tenure here.” Sniper says, “I know a lot more about their sexual preferences and prowess than I cared to know.”

                It shuts up RED, who could only bring out a cigarette and start smoking. Spy could not see RED’s face well in the position he’s in, and shifting in bed would only draw attention to himself.

                “I… Am not sure if I should be surprised.” RED says.

                “At what?” Sniper asks.

                “Ah nothing. It’s your risk Mundy. I am more interested in heading over to see my paramour than trying to catch the BLU Spy. Besides, he’s French, he hardly cares if he’s caught in homosexual acts.” RED says.

                With that, RED leaves the van. Sniper makes an aside comment that RED admitted he wasn’t French, moving to lock the door.

                “You’re right, he’s Cajun.” Spy says.

                Spy waited for Sniper’s reaction, only slightly disappointed that he locks the door and returns to the kitchen table to drink the rest of his coffee.

                “I saw you before I walked in.” Sniper says, “Also why I knew you’d be here, considering you were already here.”

                Spy shrugs, slipping out of bed, though leans against a wall near the bed instead of taking the other seat at the table. Sniper trusted him a great deal to have his back to him.

                “So our Spook is actually from America.” Sniper says.

                “Oui, he hates that I tease him for it.” Spy says.

                “Huh. Not like anyone would believe me, he sounds far too European.” Sniper says.

                Spy wanted to correct Sniper, say that RED sounded as though he’s a New York immigrant. He’s heard the French New York accent, and the rhythm almost matched. Though, when RED actually put in effort towards mimicking accents…

                “You still think you owe me?” Sniper asks.

                “What would you feel in my situation?” Spy asks.

                He gets no answer. Didn’t particularly expect one. Sniper slowly turns in his seat, looking over to Spy. He holds his favorite mug in front of him in both hands, making his body smaller. Nervous, must be overthinking this.

                “I’m not sure this is…” Sniper starts, “I dunno, this seems wrong.”

                “Wrong? Because we’re enemies?” Spy asks.

                “Well, not that. It has a part, but the person that would find out already said he wasn’t interested in snooping this week.” Sniper says, “Just that you feel you owe me. I know people done this for lesser reasons, but doesn’t change this feels off.”

                If it wasn’t so endearing, Spy would chuckle at it. He’s sucked cock for lesser reasons. Here he is, offering himself no strings attached, and this… This was making Sniper nervous. He would leave, but he would like an answer. He could take coming back tomorrow, letting the Sniper ‘sleep on it’ as they say.

                “Mundy.” Spy says, “I will admit, I do find myself attracted to you. I would not offer otherwise. If this is not what you want…”

                “I know you’re the type to find out about this. You don’t like wasting your time, not the way our Spy will.” Sniper says.

                Now that does bring Spy to chuckle. RED was too nice for his own good towards people who couldn’t give a shit. Spy has learned not to expect much, though he’s friendly. Though, everyone knew that friendly didn’t mean nice…

                “So you do want this?” Spy asks.

                “Not today.” Sniper says, “I need to think on this. And I might have a request.”

                So long as it was not piss related, Spy might do anything. Though part of his own reserves creep in, and he shifts around uncomfortably. Spy has to keep himself from heading for the door.

                “I honestly… only anticipated giving you a blowjob.” Spy admits.

                Sniper sets his cup on the table, turning to face Spy directly. Spy couldn’t see half his expression from beneath the sunglasses, but Spy knew when others were looking incredulously at him.

                “That’s it?” Sniper asks, “Nothing more? You don’t seem the type, from what I heard. From _you_.”

                “That’s my comfort level.” Spy says.

                Perhaps it was too dismissive, or did not have the right firmness. Sniper stands, approaching Spy with caution, like he would some wounded animal.

                “You don’t believe me?” Spy asks.

                “A man that willingly sleeps with five others, men and women alike, is not performance shy.” Sniper says, “Unless I am mistaken.”

                It was just… a long story Spy had limited amounts of patience for. Not tonight. He didn’t want this conversation tonight.

                “Tomorrow Mundy.” Spy says, “This is not a conversation I enjoy having, without the right preparation.”

                “Is there something I-. You know, I thought over that question. You’re a Spy. Of course there’s something I don’t know.” Sniper says, “Alright. Fine. We’ll sleep on it. I’ll keep in mind what you said, but… I don’t know, I expected you to want, or do more.”

                Truthfully? Spy wants to do more. But, Spy was uncertain as to who he could ask on making sure the RED Sniper would not kill him for finding out he’s-.  
                Spy inhales, brushing the thought out of his mind.

                “Once you know, I think you’ll understand my apprehension.” Spy says, “But I cannot do this tonight. I don’t have a certain photograph on my person. I found it to be a useful starting point. But, there’s always tomorrow.”

                “Tomorrow.” Sniper repeats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sake will put people on their ass.  
> My sake story isn't all that great. I drunk drove (look. I waited 2 hours, I ate with the sake, I got frozen yogurt, and I still drunk drove because my friend was too much of a pansy to take the keys from me. Funny, because she drove me in those 2 hours and shouldn't have let me have the keys back. But, c'est la vie, I'm lucky I didn't hurt anyone, and I will never do it again. Drink sake hot because I don't know how drinking fermented yeast would taste good cold, but it was at least tolerable hot).  
> But sake did make me want all the weird things. And if I 1. had the supply and 2. the nerve, I would totally hide 500 packers as a joke.


	3. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one of The Spicy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shall preface this with the usual "trans men enjoy different things so one experience is different from the others."  
> Enjoy  
> (btw I wrote this to the McGee's Alice soundtrack, both games. Very peaceful.)

                Today.  
                Spy and the RED Sniper spent some of the night talking. Sniper convinced Spy that they should take a road trip. Wasn’t exactly how Spy wanted to spend his time, but, he found himself in the front cab, keeping an eye on the scenery.  
                Spy was trying to ignore the nagging thought in the back of his mind. He brought The Bag full of Things, and stuffed it in a duffel bag full of his suits. Of course, Sniper was suspicious, but could do nothing except drop the issue when Spy refused to clarify. It’s hiding in the back of the campervan, secured in a shelf by the bed.  
                Later, if Spy felt up for it. Better to have it and change his mind than to be in the heat of the moment and not have it.

                Spy was good at picking out when to mention things… except when it came towards That.

                “How would you react if one of your teammates was born a woman?” Spy asks.

                That was undoubtedly the worst way to come out. Well, one of a long list. Spy already held onto a Dead Ringer in his jacket, hoping he did not have to use it. He knew how respawn worked, but this was a tiny comfort. It would give him time to get away.  
                He’s acting silly, he brought The Bag.

                “I actually know someone who… erm…” Sniper starts, “Transitioned? That the word?”

                “Yes. That’s the word.” Spy says, “I would never ask you to betray their trust. I was just-.”

                “Curious.” Sniper finishes, “Maybe he told you.”

                Doubtful, Spy was certain he was alone. Well, aside from the Pyros. But non-binary people are a smidgen different from transgender individuals. Same sort of problems, but Spy knew that their concept of all shared issues hold a different slant.

                “ _Non_.” Spy says, “I thought I was alone.”

                As Spy expected, he had gotten silence. It wasn’t an awkward sort, Sniper had an amused expression as he seems to be searching for landmarks. It’s been a while since everyone had a chance to take a week away from work. Sniper must have a location for stargazing.

                “What are those flaccid dicks for?” Sniper asks.

                “Pardon?” Spy asks.

                “Me mate told me that those were packers, but he could never afford realistic ones like the assortment that were spread everywhere.” Sniper says, “A bit weird I know the name but not the use of them, wouldn’t explain it to me.”

                Now that…  
                Spy unhooks his seatbelt, sliding close to Sniper. He sees the man tense, uncertain as to his plan. Sometimes the best lessons require a gentle touch.

                “It’s a bit superficial.” Spy admits, “As tempting as it is to check the medical prowess of other countries, I have not found something ‘official’ that meets my standards. So, a packer simulates what isn’t there.”

                “Can’t say I blame you.” Sniper says.

                Spy edges his right hand from Sniper’s knee, gliding it up his thigh. There’s some tenseness from the driving, but his legs part slightly, allowing Spy to cup his hand between the Sniper’s legs. He squeezes his bulge, smirking when he hears Sniper inhale sharply. Spy’s almost thankful the man foregone his seatbelt… though it would have been fun to work around.  
                Later.

                “Also makes acts like these reciprocal.” Spy says.

                Spy rubs his hand gently, knowing the most he might get from Sniper is a deeper blush. That’s fine with him, gives him a little time to explore. He shifts around, so that he has his left hand over the bushman’s crotch. In part because Spy wanted to smoke, and he could do so more comfortably with his right hand.  
                What he was not expecting was for Sniper to shift around his hold on the steering wheel, keeping his driving steady with his left hand. His right he sets on the Spy’s knee, with significantly more trepidation. Spy rubs his hand on Sniper’s thigh, attempting to coax him along.  
                It’s slow, almost arduous. The hesitation becomes more apparent as Sniper gets closer inside his thigh.

                “Any kind of… surprises I should expect?” Sniper asks.

                Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh.  
                It’s an innocent question, worded adorably. Spy knew many people who hated these kinds of questions, and with the wrong sort of people, his reaction would be significantly different.  
                But, patience. Besides, he couldn’t be mad at someone who asked so cautiously.

                “What do you think is waiting for you bushman?” Spy asks.

                He hopes Sniper hears humor. Spy knows how he sounds, and knows people mistake his humorous tones for sarcastic ones. Sniper clenches on his thigh, the pinch he feels… not unpleasant, though he did tremble.

                “Don’t quite know how…” he starts, “Ah piss.”

                _Ah_. He didn’t need to continue, Spy knew what he meant.

                “Explore _mon cher_. It’s just on top of clothes, the real fun starts later.” Spy says, “You won’t notice much of a difference here.”

                Spy still expected the hesitation, but… Eventually, he feels Sniper’s hand rest between his legs. He sighs, foregoing his cigarette to grip onto the seat. The feeling… it’s electric.  
                They’re both a little more cautiously, partially because Sniper veers himself away from the main road. The rest? Perhaps it was the attempt to draw this out. Spy had to stop Sniper once, feeling the familiar veer higher, where his shirt tucks neatly under his pants. He gives a soft whispered answer, not now, and Sniper returns to exploring around his thighs.

                Sniper parks near a massive tree, a bit spectacular. Spy already has so many ideas…  
                Later.  
                Spy barely waits for Sniper to park, working on undoing his belt. Spy barely registers his gasp, slipping his hand away for a moment to take off a glove. Sniper takes hold of his ungloved hand before he can slip it back between his legs. There’s more of that feeling of electricity, Spy’s imagining how the callouses would feel on other parts his body.  
                Soon.

                “Enjoying yourself?” Spy asks.

                “A bit…” he says.

                “Only a bit?” Spy asks, “Seems I should fix that.”

                Spy slips his hand out of the Sniper’s grasp, easing his way underneath his pants. He’s not surprised at the lack of underwear, but the length he pulls out…  
                Reminds him of a time in Madrid, only Spy thinks this time he will be more than pleased. It does not take long for Sniper to cover his eyes with an arm, with all the touches Spy gives him. He knew many ways to tease, but it takes one slight pinch near the head of his cock for Sniper to groan.

                “More.” Sniper whispers.

                Spy takes this as his cue, shifting his body towards the floorboards, just to make this easier. It’s not long until he’s licking on the slit, thinking of many ways he could drag this out, just for his own pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me all your trans headcanons.  
> Give them to meeeeee.  
> I can't find all that many and I won't know what people are hoping for in trans mercs if I see no trans headcanons :'(  
> Sure I have my own takes and opinions, but I threw in a trans Sniper in FTWOAN because someone mentioned trans Sniper.  
> (I decided to split the sex scenes into parts, get nice little bites. More because that's how I roll and because I think this is something that should be separated by chapters. Also means more sex overall, given where I was intending on ending it, so... yay for readers?)


	4. Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Spicy part 2:  
> Parts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was weird to write.  
> Then it wasn't (as much).  
> Still feel very iffy about it.  
> Maybe it's because I'm aiming for educational and erotic (which is difficult)  
> Next one should be erotic (with less education)

                “So what do you call everything?” Sniper asks.

                That was such an unspecific question. Spy stabs his cigarette in the ashtray nearby, sighing as he recalls he barely smoked that one, and essentially ruined it.  
                One glance to the other man was enough for him to look away, as if he made a mistake.

                “Sorry.” He mumbles.

                Patience. That was what Sniper asked Spy before pieces of clothing were slipping off. Spy had to ask for patience in turn, his balaclava and underwear still on while Sniper was fully nude.  
                The tussle in bed was fun, until Spy needed a smoke break.  
                Nerves, he said. Just let him have his nicotine fix and he will be fine. He wanted this.  
                Sniper did not mind waiting, he took his time trailing the lines of his tattoo, returning the favor from earlier. Spy was not expecting the man to have so many scars…

                “Cher, recall I mentioned that you needed to be… specific.” Spy says.

                Specific and _try_ to be polite. There was some sassing over what ‘polite’ meant, but Spy did at least mention technical terms would work in Sniper’s favor over slang.

                “I’m fairly sure you wouldn’t be happy if I used the word ‘vagina’ when discussing your body.” Sniper says.

                _Oh_. He sighs, thinking over how that question would have sounded so much better if Sniper had said ‘what do you call your parts’ instead of that mess he said earlier. As well as how Sniper’s presuming far too much, but that was an easy mistake. That was easier to work around, the carefulness instead of the ignorance.  
                A bit welcoming, when he gave it some thought.

                “Actually…” Spy starts.

                Spy takes hold of Sniper’s wrist, sliding his hand to help lead the other’s fingers along. Sniper watches, swallowing back whatever comment he had in his mouth. Spy eyed his Adam’s apple, as well as the assortment of hickeys that line it as he explains.

                “You obviously know this is my chest.” Spy says.

                Spy gently tugs his hand along, helping him feel where the nipples _should_ be. Despite how he lost a lot of feeling in his chest post-surgery, he could still feel enough to enjoy firmer sensations.

                “Why the roses?” Sniper asks.

                “Draws your eyes to the tattoos instead of the surgery scars.” Spy says, “That, and I always wanted a tattoo. The artist I found, he enjoyed roses.”

                Spy keeps his eyes on Sniper’s face, giving him time to explore, and sarcastically making comments on many of his thoughts. Stomach, hips, thighs… Soon, the marksman takes his lead, keeping the slow pace that Spy sets as he coaxes his legs apart.  
                One touch, always gets him reeling, arching his back. It takes him a moment to regain focus.

                “C-Careful. A bit more sensitive than a cock but…” Spy starts.

                “You call it that.” Sniper says.

                It wasn’t insulting, it was… Perhaps there was understanding. He stops, for a moment. He eases Spy out of his underwear, letting him grow comfortable before he trails his fingers back. Sniper knows what he’s doing with his fingers, stroking, teasing- Spy takes hold of his wrist once more, inhaling. Callouses. Always the callouses…

                “Bad touch?” Sniper asks.

                “Just… Sensitive.” Spy says, “Slower, don’t feel as though you need to give attention to just my cock.”

                He lets go once more, keeping his hand nearby as he feels Sniper explore. Whoever Sniper’s previous partners were, they were damned fools. Sniper… was good. There is hesitation, which Spy expected. Though, he could already begin to feel the peaks, enough to make him think sometime today, he would black out after many waves of pleasure.  
                Sniper always teases at the edge of his entrance, and would bring the fingers back to the external parts.

                “Perhaps later, with lubricant and condoms…” Spy says.

                “You… don’t mind penetration there?” Sniper asks.

                “It’s risky without condoms.” Spy admits, “It isn’t my favorite, but I am not repulsed by it.”

                And the fact that he wants this to become more than just a fling… Well, it’s risky. Something Spy considered, planning all the potential outcomes. Helps that Sniper appears more than willing, and perhaps it would help if this seems impassive.  
                Who knows.  
                He does know that at some point, Spy will make sure the two of them come many times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mildly annoyed that my research skills have failed me (it happens. If there's not a lot on the topic, or if you have to know how to dig....)  
> what I wanted: sex related, more because I found information on how vaginas are post-T (dry or swamp were what I've seen, but I found more info about dryness) and post T dick sizes  
> what I got: HIV prevention (eh, always useful) or fetish porn.  
> I did get dick sizes (ballpark 2~5 cms)  
> Ah, the joys of research...  
> (I guess this has become a multi chapter erotica, hopefully next one might actually reach 1k but I liked how I tied it up)  
> twitter @morpheusememori  
> writing blog @morpheusenmemori  
> whatever blog @prince-darkleboop

**Author's Note:**

> three chapters.  
> chapter two will get a bit suggestive, maybe chummy because that's how I roll.  
> chapter three is the "how about some blowjobs?" (maybe more, haven't decided yet)


End file.
